Self-Esteem and the Disconnected child
We have been blessed to work with hundreds of kids, from 4-22, and their parents. There is one area of concern that comes up in our first conversation with parents approximately 75% of the time – self-esteem and confidence.
- Half of the children had a diagnosis and half did not.
- 50% were concerned about behavior while the other 50% were worried about academics.
- Most of the parents had tried many different medical treatments with very low success.
- Almost all parents dream was zero use of medication
We worked with these children and noticed that not only was the original concern being addressed but self-esteem was increasing. To help explain why self-esteem was low to begin and why the Brain Balance Program encourages both the development of self-esteem and confidence we need to review a quick explanation of how the brain works.
The Brain
The brain is made up of cells called neurons. These cells have nerve endings called synapses and dendrites. Nerve endings release chemical and electrical stimuli to communicate with each other. This brain communication forms neuropathways in the brain and is the basis for how the brain works.
When you initially learn something the pathway or connection is weak. The more frequently you think a particular thought the stronger the pathway becomes, forming an automatic habit of thinking.
The frontal lobe is thought to play an important role in advanced brain functions. It is a critical part of the executive system, which refers to planning, reasoning, and judgment. It contains most of the dopamine-sensitive neurons connected with positive feelings such as motivation. It is also involved in personality and emotion by contributing to the assessment and control of appropriate social behaviors. Low Self-esteem like low mood, reflects an imbalance of many brain chemicals especially serotonin and dopamine.
The frontal lobe is also separated into two different hemispheres and each side has very different purposes and emotions it is responsible for. Consequently, if there is an imbalance between the two different sides of the brain this can affect everything from behavior and academic performance, to self-esteem.
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Left Brain Positive (Approach) Behavior |
Right Brain Negative (Avoidance) Behavior |
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Happy |
Sad |
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Anger |
Disgust |
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Surprise |
Fear |
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Ideal is an appropriate balance of both positive and negative behaviors |
|
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Small muscles |
Big Muscles |
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Literal |
Nonverbal/Subconscious |
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Logical |
Practical |
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Impulsive |
Cautious and Safe |
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Processing visual images |
Sensory |
Why is Low Self-Esteem so common in our kids?
The question that is probably occurring to most of you right now is: Why do so many kids have negative self-esteem? Why do they tell themselves “I’m not good enough?”
The answer is different for each child but the root cause is the same…
When the brain is out of sync and one side of the brain can’t keep up with the other side it will throw the whole brain out of balance. An easy way to remember the activities that reside in each side of the brain is to think of the body as a car and the brain is the engine. The left brain is like the gas pedal and the right brain is like the brakes. Therefore, if a child struggles to push the gas pedal enough they will struggle with motivation and self-esteem. If their breaks are not working appropriately they will struggle to control their impulses and keep their focus.
If a child is labeled because of these issues such as the “bad child” because they are acting out in class or unable to sit still or the “lazy child” because they lack motivation it can affect their self-esteem. Likewise, if a child feels he is struggling academically and does not understand why everything is so hard for him when it seems easy for other kids he may begin frequent negative thoughts about themselves. This can also adversely impact his self-esteem.
Remember what we learned above – When you initially learn something the pathway or connection is weak. The more frequently you think a particular thought the stronger the pathway becomes, forming an automatic habit of thinking. – these neuropathways are forming with frequency.
Most children do not want to do things they are not comfortable with or do not feel “good” at. The more they avoid an area they struggle with the larger the problem becomes.
Brain Balance Southlake
We are brain-based, not drug based. We subscribe to the theory that the brain can be changed—something once thought impossible but as you can see neuropathways can form. That means the concerns you have for your child aren’t permanent, and the situation isn’t hopeless.
You are not alone.
Taking the first step can be the most difficult. At Brain Balance Southlake we provide a comfortable and encouraging environment for both parent and child. Our staff will offer expert consultation, assistance with seeking out resources, as well as honest feedback about your child’s progression. We provide a safe and friendly atmosphere where it is okay to make mistakes and there are no preconceived notions or limits placed on potential.
Brain Balance DFW 